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GUYS: YOUR FIRST DATE EXPLAINED
Do…
… Offer to pay, sure it’ll cost you an extra £15, but this sort of kindness can go a long way (…get it? ‘Long’? Ah never mind)
… Something with your hair. It looks shit.
… Tuck your shirt in, you’re not 17 anymore
… Go to the gym a few hours beforehand, it’ll get you in the zone. If you can’t get to the gym, chances are it’ll make you feel better just thinking about going
… Carry. It’s better to be safe, but remember if she’s that willing on the first date – is she really the sort of girl you want to be with?
Don’t…
… Argue with her if she wants to pay half, remember you weren’t born in the 50’s. Girls are allowed jobs now too!
… Order any food you wouldn’t like the smell or taste of when it would come up in a burp later – chances are she wouldn’t either
… Come back from the toilet with piss stains on your jeans, believe it or not most girls tend to find that attractive
… Be a sucker. By all means pay for the first drink, but if she expects you to get the next one in too, you are well within your rights politely telling her to ‘jog on’
… Stand her up. The whole ‘treat them mean’ thing doesn’t extend that far
… (During sex) mistake the phrase ‘I’ve had enough’ for ‘I want it rough’ – as my recently imprisoned friend did
Other articles at lxnews.co.uk
AN ENGLISH GIRL IN MARBELLA on May 13th, 2008
BACK TO THE FUTURE on April 17th, 2008
DROPPING OUT AND MOVING ON on April 12th, 2008
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Perhaps an idea to read up on the rules of English grammar:
“The whole ‘treat them mean’ thing isn’t extend that far”
I think it’s always good to see a good sense of humour in articles. It’s a pity you apparently don’t think likewise. Poor rape jokes, or whatever the last paragraph constitutes, are not funny.
And in parts this is simply cringe-worthy:
‘it’ll get you in the zone’
No offense intended; all the points I’ve mentioned are genuine criticisms.
In Matt’s defence, the grammatical error isn’t his- having checked the version he sent us, it does actually say ‘doesn’t’ and I’ve edited this one back…this is one of two mistakes that seem to have occured between the issue being uploaded and being printed, so sorry about that. I’m on the case. Nobody likes illiteracy.
What a revolting, hypocritical article.
So it’s ok for a bloke to sleep with a woman whenever, but if she wants sex she’s in the wrong, sub-standard and you should stay away from her? Who said feminism was dead?
Well I hate to break it to you all, but women want sex too and we should be allowed to get it and treat it in the same way as men do.
I would hope that every reader is carrying a condom in thier purse or wallet at all times, just in case.
I also hope that M Shaw never gets laid with views like that.
Have to say this is not a particularly good article. From a comedy standpoint sorry mate but it doesn’t hold up. From an actual tip stand point I think you need to re-evaluate which book you read to get dates. Oh, and yeah I agree with Liz and I don’t think it reflects badly on a girl if she wants to have fun, I mean come on this isn’t 1920 for Pete’s sake!
I thought it was pretty funny, you others need to lighten up a bit. I think the fact Liz was on here complaining about a dating ´tips´ page on Feb 14th (Valentines Day) and not out getting laid, sort of says it all.
J
Actually I went out that evening and had a great time, but thanks for the concern!
Hilarious!
I think Liz has been watching a little too much sex and the city, idolising the old one and thinking it’s cool to be a slut. It’s not big or clever tho Liz
To be honest not to take sides here, but yes it’s all good a women putting out on the first date, but as m shaw said you wouldn’t want to spend your life with someone that’s easy, as us men love the chase so it’s for your on good girls to keep us interested you must keep us chasing