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‘TWENTY GOIN OUT MARION’

By Matt Shaw ⋅ December 10, 2007 ⋅  Print this post ⋅ Post a comment

Question: Why do we have twenty pound notes? Anyone?

Now I’ll tell you why we shouldn’t have them. Firstly nowhere wants to take them! Taxi drivers politely decline to accept them as I found out last week- ‘don’t go givin me dah twenny pound note there lad’, shops give you aggro and seem to want to let everyone else know if you try to use one (TWENTY GOIN IN MARION) and if you even think about using one anywhere near a bus, well then you better get on your bike…

Secondly, from a study taken of 400 £20 notes, guess what percentage of them were found to have traces of cocaine on them? …100%! Go Google it if you don’t believe me. Personally, I like to use money that hasn’t had a Class A drug snorted through it.

Not only that, but three times in the past year have I paid for something with a £20 note and received change for a tenner. Once I got my money back (after a short exchange of words), once I had to go back at the end of the night once they’d cashed up their tills, and the last time involved a taxi driver, a kidnapping and the Merseyside Police (I promise you, that wasn’t a joke).

Perhaps I should set up a Facebook group to get rid of them. That’s how things seem to get done nowadays, right?