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SHALL WE GET A DOG?

I miss my dog. I’m sure many of you feel the same. There’s something about the unconditional love of a mutt that no amount of sex, drugs and computer games can replace. Fuck cats, they have no purpose. I’m happy to attract the resentment of pussy lovers the world over because I’m not scared of you. What are you going to do? Set your cat on me? Back to dogs. Unconditional love aside, they have a lot to offer the modern student. Exercise anybody? How about security? My favourite of course, is the plaything. There really is nothing quite like having a muscular pit-bull sitting patiently on the sofa for your return. From experience, most landlords frown on pets in student houses. What you have to remember is, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. And if, by chance they come round unannounced, then simply put a pair of sunglasses or a ‘trucker’ cap on said mutt. If this fails, and they are astute enough to uncover your deception, then honesty is the best option. Simply tell them that you are a poor, scared, meek child. Many students have posed the question, ‘shall we get a dog?’ Typically a throw away comment with no real intent, this yearly quandary needs to be re-assessed. Is it really that outrageous? I say no, go forth (to a dog shelter), and remember a dog is for life, not just for your second year………

Joseph Reeves

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